what does your soul look like

For a while it felt like the only thing I felt I had going for me was faith. I was tucked away in my little gremlin cave feeling so defeated. Everything changed so drastically and in the blink of an eye, I was free from a job I hated, the departure was so cold and so corporate. It was weird to have someone you have worked with for years call you out of the blue and be like return your computer, sign this paper, good luck, live long and prosper. I had been out of work for a few weeks but the first couple of days after that phone call, felt like a loss but at the same time not having that energetic weight weighing me down was so liberating.

I went to lunch with my neighbor, he is also an American who recently moved here. I shared with him that I was doing this. He knew I had been going through a rough time and thought it was a great idea to write it all out, he asked what the point of sharing was.

We’re so deep in our life experience that we dont take the time to appreciate that what we did takes an immense amount of courage and faith. We are doing something that feels so out of reach for so many. Moving to a new country, going through the immigration process, learning a new language is kind of a big deal. People do not willingly uproot their lives just for funsies. We weren’t leaving a place where we experienced war, famine, or anything of that nature. We are both two privileged people from southern California who were in search of a better quality of life.

I made a life changing decision based on an intuitive nudge, whenever I tell someone that I feel slightly insane because what do I mean I moved out here based on a vibe?! The way it worked out for me was so easeful. Looking back I laugh at myself for being a stressed out mess but at the same time, I understand why i felt that way. I had out grown San Diego, it felt like I was living in a movie I had watched a million times and the tape was ready to retire. In a way it felt like Portugal wanted me to live here because there really is no other way to describe how incredibly easeful the process was.

I had my visa appointment in January, received my visa in April. I was having dreams of the apartment I would live in weeks before finding it. I toured 4 apartments and the first apartment, I recognized from my dream. I was walking by the apartment building I would end up living in everyday for two months without knowing. My immigration interview was silly, I brought a file full of all my paperwork and all the agent asked for was my passport and lease. I had the agent laughing out loud, I was in and out in about two hours. I opened my mailbox one day and my resident card was waiting for me. There truly could not have been a more easeful move. If this is what life wanted me to experience, who am I to say no

I have this wonderful opportunity to appreciate life in a new way. My intuition brought me to this point, the best way I can thank this opportunity is by sharing. I have a blank slate, I have nothing to prove to anyone and nothing holding me back. I don't know what I want this phase of my life to look like. But the two things I know for sure is how I do want it to feel and what i don't want it to feel like.

Feeling my way through life and trusting my intuition, that knowing, has brought me here. What I want my life to feel like: I help bring joy to others, I want to deeply enjoy what I do, I want the freedom to be myself and share my adventures. I want to feel like I am living an authentic life, that life baby dlo dreamed of.